Return of the Pink FlexiRuler
by I am the Cake Fairy
Summary: [Sequel to A Pink FlexiRuler][NejiGaa][A school fic I guess][AU][Fear it!] The Pink FlexiRuler returns...and it has a new target...


_Elfling had determined that the story of a certain someone's pink flexi-ruler needed to have a sequel. And she knew just who to put in it!_

_And so the dance of The Sand of Fate had begun. As well as the story. Naruto is not Elfling's._

* * *

To say that Neji had volunteered willingly to show the transfer students around the school would have been an outright lie. Even if you had said he had volunteered unwillingly would not cover the sense of unwillingness that had befallen one fate-obsessed teen. Or preteen. No one knew what grade these kids were in. But that isn't the point. The point is that Neji had been victimized, and forced into showing some scary redhead who looked like he had some homicidal tendencies, a blonde with a giant fan stuck to her back, and a guy with cat ears stuck to his hat wearing purple make up and had some large brown...thing...stuck to his back.

Neji loved his life.

He just wanted to hug somebody, he loved his life so much.

And if that somebody was the principal and had somehow died of suffocation, well it was purely coincidence.

So busy was Neji with all his brooding and plans of how to get back at the principal and somehow make it look like Fate wished for it t be, that he didn't notice the bell ringing for lunch.

"Hey, you. Girly Man. The bell rang." Ah, it was Make up Man who said that. But to keep calling him Make up Man would be very rude. Same goes for Fan Lady and Homicidal Scary Person.

"Oh, so it has. That means it is lunch time. Follow me please. What did you say your names were again?" Neji asked, not in the least bit caring. Especially not the redhead. Nope, not at all. Huh-uh.

"Oh, right! I am Temari, Make up Man is Kankuro, and Homicidal Scary Person is Gaara," Fan Lady, now known as Temari replied. Neji was vaguely aware of the fact that she had referred to the other two by the nicknames he had given them. "And you are...Reggie, right?"

"Neji," he corrected.

"That's what I said."

Neji decided to comment no further. They were not worth his time.

On their way to the cafeteria, they passed a janitor's closet. It was in fact such a special place that the students had decided to name it. They named it The Janitor's Closet. Notice the upper case letters, and the word 'the' before 'janitor's closet'. That it was really special.

Speaking of really special, there were some really special sounds coming from inside the closet. Nothing too special, but just something Neji didn't want to put up with at that time of day. Well, he never really wanted to, but today he was feeling extra evil. So he opened the closet door.

And Naruto and Sasuke tumbled out. Fully clothed, mind you, but rather dishelved and extremely flushed. Naruto also had several 'love-bites' on his neck. And everywhere else.

Temari and Kankuro looked a bit surprised, but did not show any signs of them being disapproving. Gaara must have found it extremely funny, however, and began chuckling slightly to himself.

"Couldn't you save that for your house, or some dark alley, or somewhere where I won't find you, hear you, or have the unpleasant feeling that you are near?" Neji asked, sighing in exasperation. Today was not his day.

"Aw, come on Neji! You seriously need to get yourself a girlfriend!" Naruto whined. Sasuke suddenly got a disturbing look in his eye as he turned to look behind Neji and at Gaara.

"Or boyfriend," the blue-haired male commented, raising an eyebrow at a now faintly blushing Neji.

"Oh, so he's single?" Gaara asked nonchalantly. Sasuke smiled smugly and stood up. He walked over to Gaara and gave the smaller boy one of his more friendly smirks. Those smirks were very rare indeed.

"Yes, he is. I've been telling him for a while now that he needs to get laid. He always acts like he's got a stick up his-"

"Uchiha, you really shouldn't be talking," Neji countered. "Especially with him up your boyfriend." Neji stuck a thumb in Naruto's direction.

"Actually, I top," Sasuke deadpanned. Naruto suddenly turned into a tomato.

"SAAAAAAAASUKE!" Naruto whined, totally embarrassed. "You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"

"Oh, but it's so obvious, Dobe," Sasuke replied. Before their lovers' quarrel escaladed, Neji decided it was time to eat lunch.

"Come on, let's go," he said quietly to the three siblings. They nodded and followed him out of the hallway. Once they were out of earshot, Naruto turned to Sasuke.

"Did you put it into his book bag?"

"Yup, and he didn't even notice!" Sasuke said, an evil glint in his eyes. The two then walked down the hall and into the cafeteria.

Back in the cafeteria, Neji had sat down at his usual table, two empty seats to his right, Lee to his left, and Tenten next to Lee. In front of Neji was Shikamaru, three empty seats to his left, and Sakura in front of Lee. Ino was next to Sakura, and had forced Chouji to sit next to her. After the second empty seat past Neji sat Kiba, followed by Shino. Hinata sat beside Shino.

Gaara slid into the seat directly next to Neji, and Kankuro sat in between a rock and a hard place. No, he sat between Kiba and his brother. Temari sat in front of Gaara and next to Shikamaru. After a short while, Sasuke and Naruto came in and sat in the two remaining seats that have been mentions. You know, the ones next to Temari.

Introductions soon followed. But they were too boring to write down. And so lunch continued.

"Ino-pig! If Sasuke wasn't gay, he definitely would have dated me!"

"Forget it, billboard-brow, it'd me he would have loved!"

"Sakura, if you date me, I swear I will protect you!"

"Uh! Get off me, you green-clad...thing! Or I swear I will turn you into a porcupine!"

"Om nom nom nom..."

"Zzzz..."

"..."

"Ah...Akamaru! That was mine! Yours is to the right!"

"Teme! Give me back my ramen!"

"No, dobe. You need to eat something other than ramen for every meal of the day."

"U-um, S-sasuke...give N-naruto-kun back his r-ramen..."

"...?"

"You know, I think I missed something."

"Hn."

Bored and not finding any conversations that his friends were having worthy of his opinion, Neji began rummaging through his book bag, looking for his lunch. however, instead of coming across his banana, he felt a foreign object. When he pulled it out, he shrieked and through it onto the table. When the others saw it, they too became deathly silent. For it was...

...the Pink Flexi-Ruler...

...of love.

"What is it?" Gaara asked, and reached forward to grab it.

"No, don't touch it!" Neji squealed, but it was too late, the dreaded flexi-ruler was in the grasp of one homicidal redhead. And Neji's fate was decided.

Neji broke down into tears and fell off his seat. Some of his friends looked at him with sympathy, some looked at him with an utterly bored look in their eyes, and some just laughed at him outright.

"Told ya you needed to get laid," Sasuke commented, Naruto leaning on him and giggling hysterically.

"...I don't get it," Gaara said, totally seriously. Sakura took pity on him and decided to explain the situation to the redhead.

"One day, Naruto was bored, and leaned back in his chair, resting his head on Sasuke's desk. Sasuke slapped him on the head with the Pink Flexi-Ruler. They got together later that same day. They were pretty loud in The Janitor's Closet." Sakura shuddered at that thought. All that moaning...uggh!

"Then, a couple of weeks ago, Shino and Kiba began arguing with each other entirely too much. Sasuke, annoyed, decided to slip the Pink Flexi-Ruler into Kiba's binder. It was meant to be a joke. When Kiba found it, he began waving it around, blushing and cursing. Shino grabbed it from his hand to get him to shut up. They got together the next day. Sasuke's been in charge of the Pink Flexi-Ruler of Love ever since. Who knew he was such a good match-maker?"

Gaara took a moment to think this over. Then he shrugged. And Temari and Kankuro died of shock at his next statement/ action.

"Okay. Hey you, on the ground. Pull yourself together. You're tops." And with that, Gaara stood up and dragged Neji to the nearest Janitor's Closet. Everyone then turned to Sasuke.

"Damn, you're good," Kiba said. Sasuke shrugged.

"The Pink Flexi-Ruler never lies."

* * *

_Elfling giggled maniacally. She was done. And she didn't give a damn if she spelled something wrong or had grammatical errors. Which meant she was done. Well, of course there was more that she could do. Like start on a sequel to this one. But she didn't feel lik it at the moment. Instead, she decided she would go take a shower, then go to a classical concert. Well, actually she was being forced. Forced, she tells you! She wants you to review, too.  
_


End file.
